Proteins and enzymes, you must have them. Essential, building blocks. Aren't they? Or do I have them confused with cheese? Either way, they are important. My grandmother attested to this whenever she found a hair on her fork. I'd point it out, "Granny, there's a hair on your fork," and she'd look at it for a second and then shrug and say, "Protein," before scarfing it down with whatever food happened to accompany it.

The thought makes me want to cough, but that's Granny for you. She's from another time, a time when turning your nose up at hair about to enter your mouth was the act of a wasteful individual.

Here we are though in the enviable position of consuming protein in ways that do not include hair. I do apologize. I do not intend to continue this discussion of eating hair. It's sickening. I will put an end to it presently.

You out there, developing so many innovative products with protein and enzymes as your foundation, your directive. You! You're a persevering wonder! Keep us safe from the days of eating hair! Continue down the road of the new, the astounding, the visionary!

This will help!

Your weekly reduction!

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